Monthly Archives: November 2011

Rise and Shine

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‘Rise and Shine!’  How often have we heard those instructions in our lives?  Usually, it’s used an invitation to get out of bed and get the day started.  I’d like to use it as an invitation to be who  you were born to be.  I believe we each have a specific purpose on Earth.  How many of us are actually serving that purpose, though?

I have spent a good amount of my adult life not serving mine.  I simply could not, or more accurately, would not rise and shine.  I was so bogged down with fear, guilt and feelings of unworthiness, I couldn’t see my own light, much less let it shine.  As I have embarked on my spiritual path, however, I’ve discovered my purpose or at least part of it.  I feel that my purpose involves using my creativity to edify and uplift my fellow humans, especially women and children.  Sharing this blog, my paintings and photography are the ways I’m serving right now.  Who knows, it may change over the years, and I’m fine with that.  I’m ready to do all I can to help as many people as I can using the gifts that are mine to give.

What are YOU here to do?  There’s something you have to offer that only you can do.  Believe it.  I know a lot of people have an inkling of their purpose/service and then think, ‘Nah, let someone else do it.’  No one can do it the way you’d do it.  No one.  Your purpose is to be filtered through you, not someone else.  Now, your purpose may overlap with other people’s, but only you can execute it your way.   No matter your perceived ‘limitations’ – age, race, gender, socioeconomic standing, whatever  you think limits you – you have a purpose.  Get quiet, go within and find out what it is.  Don’t worry about how to get it done. The first step is finding it.  Find it. Try it on for size, then, Rise and Shine.  Rise above your doubts and fears and Shine your beautiful Divine light on the world.  We need you!

Pure Beauty

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Today’s offering is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend on Facebook.  I reposted the picture you see here (I did not take the picture) and the exchange that followed went like this:

Becky:  but most of society tells me i’m not….it’s so hard to believe…

Me:  What society thinks of you should be last on your list, right after what one-eyed arthritic squirrels think of you. You ARE beautiful, Becky Steege, inside and out!! True story. ♥

 

I am Becky. You’re probably Becky, too.  At some point or another, we’ve allowed society to tell us whether or not we are beautiful, smart, popular, valuable, lovable and on and on.  I’m gonna have to call BS on this one.

 

If we listened exclusively to what society had to say about beauty, we’d all look exactly the same.  Ugh! What fun would that be?   *shudder* I just pictured America filled with surgically-altered, walking Photoshop projects, but I digress.  Our uniqueness is what makes us ‘Us’ and it’s what makes us beautiful.

 

Of course, there are things I want to change about my appearance AND I can appreciate and accentuate the things that I love about my appearance.  I’m guilty of comparing myself to women I see in magazines and on television, too, I am not above that.  I’m just saying that as time goes on and I grow to truly love myself (ALL of myself, ‘flaws’ and all) that what the latest little starlet is wearing or who’s got the sexiest beach body matters less and less in terms of how I feel about myself.

 

Some time ago, I started a little ritual just for me.  Every morning, when I make my first trip to the bathroom, I look in the mirror and smile at myself and say in my head, ‘Who’s a pretty girl? I’m a pretty girl!’ much like you would if you were trying to get your pet parrot to repeat it. lol  It’s a fun, silly little thing I do and I enjoy it.  I do it because if nobody else tells me I’m pretty on any given day, I’ve heard it at least once in the most important voice – my own.  The days when I say it, but don’t really feel it, I’m happy to say are in the minority.

 

If there’s something you want to change about the way you look, do it.  I would gently suggest that you do it for the right reasons and not because of what you think society thinks about how you look.  Embrace not only WHO you are, but HOW you are right now.  If you can’t love yourself as you are ‘flaws’ (and I use the term very loosely) and all, what message are you sending? That you are not worthy of being loved until… ‘Until I lose 10 pounds.  Until I get contacts.  Until I get calf implants. Until I look like her.’ Rubbish!! I wanted to use a much stronger word, trust me. lol

 

My point is a simple one: You are beautiful exactly as you are in this moment.  You are LOVE personified and that can’t be anything but beautiful.  True story. 🙂

 

*Dedicated to my friend, Becky Steege, since I put her business all out on the Internet like this. 🙂

I Dwell in Possibility

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The title of today’s offering is from a poem by Emily Dickinson.  I have a framed watercolor flower with that line above it, which I keep next to my bed and read everyday.  There is so much promise and hope in that one simple line.

 

For a sizable chunk of my childhood (often simultaneously) I was either sexually, emotionally or physically abused.  I grew up thinking that nobody loved me.  Surely, the adults around me who were either the perpetrators or turned a blind eye on my suffering couldn’t have loved me.  God obviously didn’t love me or else He would have ‘saved’ me from that wretched existence.   I felt deserted and unlovable.

 

I began to think that the poor treatment I was receiving was somehow my fault.  That if I was a good girl, people would stop hurting me.  I got good grades, I read a lot, I stayed out of trouble, I tried to fly under the radar so the boogie men wouldn’t see me.  Nothing helped and no one helped.  I felt so alone.

 

I carried that sense of blame and unworthiness well into adulthood, impacting my life negatively.  I didn’t think I’d ever be worthy of any good thing because I’d grown up feeling so terrible about myself and my life.  I felt angry and hopeless much of the time.

 

Even though I felt unworthy, good things still came into my life – my husband and daughter, jobs that I loved, creative outlets, great friends and a renewed sense of spirituality and purpose.  After a lot of introspection, tears, angry outbursts, thousands of journal entries and prayers too numerous to count, I came to realize that my PAST does not define my NOW.  No matter what happened to me as a child, I could still flourish as an adult.  Not only flourish, but be successful.

 

“I am my possibilities, not my circumstances.” – Ejay Moore

I survived my childhood, despite its best efforts to break me.  It’s easy to fall into the ‘victim’ way of thinking when things aren’t going my way, but then I remember that I survived.  I survived for a reason.  If nothing more than to tell this story and to say that no matter what your past is,  your NOW is ripe with possibility.  You dwell in possibility.

We are ALL Heroes

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“Some days it is a heroic act just to refuse the paralysis of fear and straighten up and step into another day.” Edward Albert
Greg Grunberg is my hero. Okay, let me explain.  I recently visited California for the first time and had an amazing adventure!  I stood in the ocean (first time), I ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (first time) and I stood on the roof of a hotel overlooking the ocean (first time).
Before I left home, I set the following intentions: to hug a redwood, to see a celebrity up close, to get something I can’t get in Dallas and to put my toe in the ocean.  Check, check, check and check! 🙂
The reason for my California excursion was to gather with other like-minded individuals and celebrate 11/11/11.  We convened in a very cool space where we met new people and talked about our intentions for the coming days, weeks, months,  and years.  One of the people who spoke said, ‘We are like superheroes.’  I thought that was cool, because we are ALL superheroes.  We all walk through IT everyday, whatever the IT is for us.  That’s what heroes do. Whatever it takes to get it done.  Heroic.  Love it.
The next day, I went to a beautiful house in Malibu and met arguably one of the most fascinating, artistic people I’ve ever encountered, Leigh McCloskey.  His artwork is stunning, thought-provoking and beautiful.  One of his pieces actually brought me to tears and I’ve NEVER cried at a piece of art that wasn’t my own. Seriously.  As the evening with Leigh went on, he talked to us a lot about his process and how he came to create the masterpieces around us.  At one point, he said, ‘You guys are heroes.” Okay, that was TWICE in two days.  Loved it!
The next day, it was time for me to go home, so I bravely walked down to the shore and stood in the ocean.  There was a lot more to it and I’ll delve into that in a later blog entry. 🙂 As I was packing to leave, it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen my famous person and I was momentarily bummed about it.
My friend and I arrived at the airport and were standing in the line about to go through airport security.  I was sleepy and bored, so I spent my time looking at all the people around me.  I heard the faintest whisper of “Look” in my head, so I looked up and there was Greg Grunberg!! I smacked my friend and said, (I’m sure too loudly) “My famous person!” lol  I was so thrilled you’d have thought I won the California State Lottery.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  🙂
Now, the reason I was so excited, besides seeing someone whose work as an actor I enjoyed was the synchronicity of it all.  Greg is probably best known for playing the part of Matt Parkman on NBC’s ‘Heroes’. Ha! There’s that word again.  Not only that, but Matt’s superpower on the show was at first mind-reading and then later the ability to actually change people’s minds. Ha Ha!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I absolutely love it when things come together like that.  I was exposed to the word ‘Hero’ in some form over three days and I took it as my own personal nudge to step into my cape and help save the world.  It can be done.  We can change people’s minds.  We can love where there was hate. We can feed those that are hungry.  We can protect those that can’t protect themselves.  We can lend some of our hope to those who have none.  We are ALL heroes.  Save one, save the world.
PS: I didn’t realize that Leigh was also a famous person. lol  He played Charlene Tilton’s husband on the tv show ‘Dallas’.

I Am

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I AM…

© Ejay Moore

I AM the axis upon which planets spin

I AM the love that lives in the hearts of men

I AM alpha, omega and all in between

I AM prince, princess, king & queen

I AM ecstasy, causing toes to curl

I AM, you are the most beautiful girl in the world

I AM a star and the black hole that swallowed it

I AM the puzzle pieces of life and how they fit

I AM what propel sperm to seek the egg

I AM a lover’s kiss to the back of your leg

I AM artists & poets and the Upper Room

I AM a soft whisper and a sonic boom

I AM ‘Yes you can’ when you think you can’t

I AM the expansive Universe and the tiniest ant

I AM the moment a baby opens its eyes

I AM the Psalms that calm when a mother cries

I AM the thought you had right before this one

I AM the thought you had right before this one

I AM the thought you had right before this one

I AM what changed his mind and made him put down the gun

I AM the beginning of life and the end of it all

I AM your wings when you think that you’ll fall

I AM pink tissue paper filled with green grass

I AM progress, causing time to pass

I AM life, death and rebirth

I AM the seed of your self-worth

I AM all that IS

I AM all that IS

All that IS, I AM

I AM all that IS

I AM.

Wealth or Worth?

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‘Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.’ – Wayne Dyer
At this writing, like millions of other Americans, my net worth is not very high.  Financially, that is.  My net worth as a human being is off the charts, though.  So is yours.  We are all priceless, regardless of our net financial worth.
We live in a country where money is perceived as power and too often we feel if we don’t have the former, we don’t have the latter.  I’d like to call bullshit on that.  Your value as a human being cannot be quantified in dollars and cents.  Your value is immeasurable AND so is your power.
A couple of months ago, I was really thinking about this issue after reading for the umpteenth time the stat about the 1% who control the majority of the wealth in this country.  I felt such sadness and compassion for all my fellow human beings who feel worthless because they don’t have a lot of (or in some cases, any) money.  It prompted me to go to my bank and ask for $20 in pennies.  Of course, the tellers wanted to know what I was going to do with all those pennies. I told them that I was feeling led to create a piece of art that read: ‘Wealth does not equal Worth.’   Then I told them why I felt that way.  Now, I thought talking to people in the banking industry, my idea would be met with sarcasm and disagreement.  I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with the opposite.  One of the tellers said she was very glad I was doing that and she hoped people would appreciate the message.  They all seemed to think it was a good idea and invited me back to show them a picture of the finished piece.
I went home, got out a 4ft. by 4ft. canvas and for six hours straight, I put pennies on it.  Yes, six hours in one sitting.  With every penny, I thought of the reason I was doing it.  Yeah, it was gonna look cool when it was done, but the bigger implication was that the piece might make someone think.  It might make someone think of themselves in a better light, no matter how much they do (or do not) have in a bank account.
Your wealth is just that,  your wealth.  It does not determine how valuable you are to the Universe and your loved ones and it shouldn’t determine how valuable you are to yourself.  You are irreplaceable.  You are priceless.  Money can be made and lost a million times over, but there will never ever be another YOU. 
 
PS: I used the entire 2,000 pennies. 🙂

Let it Go!

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
— Joseph Campbell

 

Let go.  Let go.  Let go.  Small words, BIG challenge.  Mr. Campbell’s quote hits home for me.  I am swimming in a sea of letting go right now.  I’m letting go of my reluctance and fear of seeing myself as a ‘real’ artist.  I’m letting go of some of my ideas about love and monogamy.  I’m letting go of some of my expectations and also some of my inhibitions.  It’s simultaneously exciting and scary.  I’m in it for the long haul, though, because I know that something and someone better is on the 0ther side.

 

I think we tend to hold on to the familiar because it’s just that – familiar.  You can’t in one breath pray for a new, healthy,  loving relationship and in the very next breath wish for an old relationship to be restored.  Two things can’t occupy that same space.   Mixed signals to the Universe yield no results.  Be clear and be prepared to let go of what you don’t want in order to make room for what you do want.

Oh, man, letting go is no cake walk, though.  I’m still struggling in some respects.  On May 1, 1992, the love of my life, my daughter’s father, my husband and best friend died.  My heart broke into a million sharp little pieces and an impenetrable wall went up around those pieces.  He was hands down the best man I’ve ever known and I loved him with everything in me.  When he passed away, I felt certain I would never love or be loved like that again and I haven’t since.

Letting go of all the feelings of pain, regret, expectation, abandonment, guilt and fear surrounding that monumental loss has been an almost daily struggle for me.  Yes, even after all these years.  More often than not, though, when I think of him, I smile rather than cry.  My heart is about 95% whole and healed now and I think I’m ready to love and be loved again.  I know that I have to let go of expectations that someone new will be able to love or is even capable of loving me the way he did.  I think that’s my final little block to release and I’m ready.

Let go and let life surprise you with beauty and wonders you never even thought of.  Let go of the old so that the new can call your heart home.