Let it Go!

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
— Joseph Campbell

 

Let go.  Let go.  Let go.  Small words, BIG challenge.  Mr. Campbell’s quote hits home for me.  I am swimming in a sea of letting go right now.  I’m letting go of my reluctance and fear of seeing myself as a ‘real’ artist.  I’m letting go of some of my ideas about love and monogamy.  I’m letting go of some of my expectations and also some of my inhibitions.  It’s simultaneously exciting and scary.  I’m in it for the long haul, though, because I know that something and someone better is on the 0ther side.

 

I think we tend to hold on to the familiar because it’s just that – familiar.  You can’t in one breath pray for a new, healthy,  loving relationship and in the very next breath wish for an old relationship to be restored.  Two things can’t occupy that same space.   Mixed signals to the Universe yield no results.  Be clear and be prepared to let go of what you don’t want in order to make room for what you do want.

Oh, man, letting go is no cake walk, though.  I’m still struggling in some respects.  On May 1, 1992, the love of my life, my daughter’s father, my husband and best friend died.  My heart broke into a million sharp little pieces and an impenetrable wall went up around those pieces.  He was hands down the best man I’ve ever known and I loved him with everything in me.  When he passed away, I felt certain I would never love or be loved like that again and I haven’t since.

Letting go of all the feelings of pain, regret, expectation, abandonment, guilt and fear surrounding that monumental loss has been an almost daily struggle for me.  Yes, even after all these years.  More often than not, though, when I think of him, I smile rather than cry.  My heart is about 95% whole and healed now and I think I’m ready to love and be loved again.  I know that I have to let go of expectations that someone new will be able to love or is even capable of loving me the way he did.  I think that’s my final little block to release and I’m ready.

Let go and let life surprise you with beauty and wonders you never even thought of.  Let go of the old so that the new can call your heart home.

 

 

 

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2 responses »

  1. Thank you, Ejay, for sharing such a beautiful and revealing entry. Those three little words together create a hefty task! I think we are all guilty of holding on to the familiar for fear of the unknown. As you so eliquently put it ” two things can not occupy the same space.” You can’t capture anything new if your fist is wrapped tightly around the old. An open palm/hand is greater tool than a closed fist.

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