Monthly Archives: May 2012

A Friend Indeed




“Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.” – Jean de la Fontaine






My friend Terri has changed my life and I don’t say that lightly.  Several years ago when she was married to one of my brothers, she suggested I read a little book called ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’.  I ignored that suggestion for quite a while (I wasn’t ready).  One day, I was visiting their home and it seemed as though that book leapt off the bookshelf at me and I HAD to read it.  Reading that book opened me up to a whole new way of thinking – about the world, about myself and about my relationship to/with God.  Because of Terri’s influence, I embarked on an amazing (sometimes painful and confusing) journey of Self-discovery and spiritual awakening and I am so grateful to her for that.


Not only has she assisted me in moving toward my purpose, she’s been an amazing friend to me and I’ve not always appreciated or recognized that.  She has believed in me when I didn’t have the strength or will to believe in myself.  She has never told me I couldn’t do something even when I was trying to convince her that I couldn’t.  She has listened to me cry and curse (and I’ve done a LOT of both over the years).  She has been a sister to me when my own sister treated me like a stranger.  She has been one of my fiercest supporters and she has offered up the tough love smackdown when I needed it.


I am and will always be grateful to Terri for her support, friendship, encouragement and sisterhood.

Thank You, Terri!




Cave Dwelling


Thus far, May has been an emotionally and spiritually challenging month for me.  On May 1, I observed the anniversary of my husband’s death, May 10 would have been my late grandmother’s 86th birthday, I was working on my solo art show, some of my relationships were in flux and I was feeling overwhelmed.  It wasn’t so much that those dates hit me any harder than they have before, I just wanted to be alone in my ‘cave’.  I wanted some quiet Ejay time, so I disconnected – well, as much as one can in this ‘always connected’  world we inhabit.


I deactivated my FB page and turned off my phone for a while, no blogging, no email, no Internet – just Being.  Thanks to the wonders of the DVR,  I watched a lot of really valuable programming on Oprah’s network that I had missed.  I got caught up on her ‘Master Class’ series and got great lessons from Grant Hill and Ted Turner, among others.  I watched the entire ‘Lifeclass’ series and had some major aha moments.  Over the next few days, I cried.  I meditated.  I wrote in my journal, I gave thanks, I wrote to my husband, I cried some more.  Can you say cathartic?  I needed that time to myself.


I find that whenever I hide out in my cave, my creativity increases at least tenfold.  I got some very cool ideas for new artwork, I wrote some powerful spiritual pieces and just recharged my battery.  I was a cave-dweller for about 10 days or so and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.


We all need that quiet cave time every once in a while.  There’s value in the cave, friends.  That’s where your great ideas live.  That’s where the answers to some of your ‘WTF?’ questions are (lol).  Take some cave time whenever you get a chance.  You deserve it.   If you open yourself up to it, you might be surprised at what you uncover about You.



Go boldly into your cave and recharge, recover and discover.


Fantasy or Reality?



“Would you rather have a perfect fantasy or a flawed reality?”  


That’s a question I’ve been posing to people for years now.  My answer has bounced back and forth between the two over time.  These days, I’m much more of a ‘flawed reality’ kind of girl.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, the ‘perfect fantasy’ has its time and place, you just can’t live there forever.  Unfortunately.

Recently, I revealed some personal feelings to a close friend of mine and almost immediately wished I hadn’t.  His response, while kind, was not the one I thought I wanted.  In a flash, my perfect fantasy became a painful, horrid, flawed reality. lol  We went from talking and/or texting every day to little or no communication at all.

While I miss my friend terribly, I realize that the flawed reality we find ourselves in can always get better.  The problem with the perfect fantasy is just that – it’s a fantasy.  There’s no room for growth, evolution or honesty when we get stuck in the fantasy.  The flawed reality is full of possibilities, adventures and newness.   I choose reality – flawed and all.

Here’s hoping my friendship can be salvaged and if it can’t, while I will be sad, I will survive.  Above all else : ‘To thine ownself be true’ and I did just that.   I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the perfect fantasy from time to time, though.  🙂