Until recently, I had not been my usual ‘hippie lovemuffin rose-colored glasses all is well’ self. I was mired in the blahs. I just wasn’t feeling it. Not one bit of it. lol I didn’t want to write (hence, no new Lollipops in over a month), didn’t want to paint, I didn’t want to take any new photographs. I didn’t want to do anything. I really didn’t. I had no hope. I was depressed plain and simple. I didn’t even want to dream. Now, that’s sad, when you’re so sad you don’t want to dream. I know. I stopped meditating, I stopped visualizing, I stopped seeing something better for my life. I’m not sure what triggered my spiral and it’s inconsequential at this point.
The good news is… I’m BACK, baby!! Well, mostly. lol I’m slowly coming back to myself. I’m meditating again (Deepak Chopra’s 21-day Meditation Challenge). I’m doing my daily two-mile walk or 30 minutes of exercise a day again. I’m writing again (hello Lollipops!). I haven’t painted or photographed anything new (yet) but I have ideas swimming happily in my head for new pieces, so I’m glad about that.
I think the thing I missed most was visualizing the life I want for myself. I would get such a happy, hope-filled feeling thinking about relocating to California to be near the ocean. It was so real to me that I could smell the ocean water and feel the sand beneath my feet and the mist on my skin as the sound of the crashing waves filled my ears. Heaven!! That is just one aspect of the life, the new life I want for myself going forward.
I can dream that dream again. I can feel it again. I can believe it again, which means I can most certainly achieve it! I have renewed, energized hope for my future. It’s not too late to have the life I’ve dreamed of. Hope springs eternal, right?