“You are perfect!” Sit with that for a moment. You. Are. Perfect! Do you feel some tension in your body? Do you hear a voice denying it? Do you feel ridiculous thinking it, much less saying it? Well, that’s your ego and for the duration of this reading, we’re going to lovingly tell her to STFU! Read on.
YOU are perfect. Not the small ‘you’ comprised of superficialities such as physical attributes, cultural make up, race, gender, intellect, financial standing – none of that. No, I’m speaking of the BIG YOU – the ‘All that YOU are’ which sprang forth from ‘The Great All That Is’ – that YOU is perfection! Complete. Whole. Perfection. Right here. Right now. Always has been. Always will be perfection.
You were created from Perfection and so YOU cannot be otherwise. We live in a world that would have us believe that we are just walking, talking bundles of ‘wrong’.
Not thin enough? Not light enough? Not dark enough? Not sexy enough? Not rich enough? Not smart enough? Not enough? Well, we have just the thing for you!! And if you order NOW, we will double your order, just pay separate shipping and processing and you can fuck up someone else’s sense of self-worth too!!
We spend so much of our lives trying to be ‘more than’ to compensate for feeling ‘less than’, all the while ignoring the Divinity that we already are.
This realization came to me (again) today while talking to a dear friend on the phone. After we hung up, I went to the living room to find my daughter. I told her to look at me and with tears in my eyes told her the following: ‘You are perfect. Nothing needs to be added to you. You are perfect as you are. You come from a Perfect Source, which makes you perfect in all ways.’ She nodded silently as I spoke. I asked her, “Do you believe it? Do you accept it? and Do you receive it?” After each inquiry, she nodded again. She asked, ‘What was that about?’ I told her that I had NEVER ever had anyone in my childhood tell me that it was okay just to be ME and that there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me. I told her I grew up constantly feeling judged for not being ‘enough’. I was never told I was perfect and I wanted her to have a different experience. She has grown up with me telling her that she’s brilliant and beautiful and that she can do, be and have anything her heart desires. I just wanted to add the cherry on top of ‘You are Perfect’. I hope she heard me.
I hope you, dear reader, hear me too. You Are Perfect. Revel in that. Roll around naked in it. Scream it at the top of your lungs, but whatever you do – Believe it!!
‘Divinity cannot be improved upon.’ – Ejay Moore
The sweet, smiling face you see to your left is that of my nephew, Trayvon (his name is spelled differently, but I chose to spell it the same as Trayvon Martin for this piece). MY Trayvon is probably twice the height and weight he was in that picture by now. He’s a tall, handsome young man. He’ll always be that mischievous little joker in the picture to me, though. MY Trayvon is a typical teenager – trying to appear aloof, but will smile like there’s no tomorrow at family gatherings when reminded of the dimpled cutie in the picture and the silly things he used to say and do. He’s no saint, by any means (but who was as a teenager?). MY Trayvon has had his share of challenges with high school and staying on task, his choices in friends raising my brother’s eyebrow a time or two, I’m sure. He’s a teenager. He’s a Black male teenager in America and I worry for him.
I worry for him because he’s growing into a man in a country that doesn’t appear to value or respect not only his right to be here, but his right to LIFE itself. And look, I don’t want to get into a discussion of the GZ trial and whether or not the verdict was just, that’s not what this is about. This is an aunt expressing her worry and concern for her nephew and the millions of boys/young men across this country who look like him. The issue of the seeming lack of racial equality in America bucks against the very core of my spiritual beliefs and I feel conflicted.
I believe 100% that the Universe is a kind, loving, abundant and beautiful energy and that we all – ALL come from it. How do I balance that belief with my experiences as a Black woman in America? How do I believe that ‘all is well’ while experiencing the contrary? How do I believe that ‘I am worthy’ while imagery, attitudes and behaviors of my fellow humans suggest otherwise? How do I believe in the unfailing goodness of God while experiencing the lack of compassion and love from other human beings? How do I continue to believe ‘We ARE One’ while bombarded with (again) imagery, attitudes and behaviors that support and encourage separation? See. Conflicted.
As I sit here, I’ve typed and erased this paragraph several times, trying to find the words. You know, I’m NOT conflicted. I choose to continue to believe in the beauty of God, even while confronted with the ugliness of man. I want to believe that Trayvon Martin’s short life will open up channels of discussion- discussions on race, gun control, SYG laws, profiling. Each time one of these tragedies occurs, it presents an opportunity to have an honest, balls-to-the-wall national conversation about the cancer that is racism in America.
I don’t know what conversations, if any, my brother has had with MY Trayvon about Trayvon Martin’s death, the trial or how to minimize the chances of him ending up in a similar situation. I don’t know. But, here’s what Aunt Ejay says: ‘Tre, you are a valuable human being. You deserve to be treated fairly, even if it doesn’t always happen. You are not a criminal unless you commit a crime. Everyone won’t judge you based solely on how you look, but some will. Don’t let other people’s prejudices determine your destiny. The Creator of the entire Universe loves you unconditionally and that alone makes you worthy of every good thing life has to offer.’
I know your heart is broken right now. Losing a loved one is a horrible thing. I’ve been there. Please take these words as intended – as a love letter to you from me and a guarantee that it will get better.
You will cry and cry and cry and cry. You will curse/question your religious/spiritual beliefs. You will be angry. You will be angry with your loved one (“How could you leave me?”). You will be angry with yourself (“What could I have done to prevent it?”) You will regret the things you said that you shouldn’t have and have even more regret for the things you should have said and didn’t. You will cry.
You will wonder how the world could be so insensitive as to keep going when you are rapidly descending into a dark, dark hole. Don’t they know you’re suffering?? Don’t they know you’re barely able to put one foot in front of the other? How dare they laugh and live and love. Rude bastards! I know, I’ve been there.
People who love you will offer what they think are comforting words. At some point (probably more than once) you will want to tell them to shut the fuck up. You won’t want to hear ‘Oh, you’re young, you’ll meet somebody else’ or ‘Maybe it was God’s will’ or ‘You’ll be okay.’ They will say those things because they don’t know what else to say. They will feel lost too, Dear One. Try to find some solace in the intention of their words, if not the words themselves. They love you.
You will cry some more. Every time your senses remind you of him/her, you will cry. It will hurt like hell, that’s the truth of it. You will want to numb yourself with whatever your drug of choice – food, sex, isolation, actual drugs. I would lovingly ask you to be careful on the numbing route. It may seem like a quick fix to the hell in which you’re residing, but it presents its own share of problems.
You will cry. Then, one day, it won’t hurt as much as it did the day before. One day, you’ll be able to say his/her name and not melt into a puddle of your own tears. One day, you will only remember the love, the laughter and the good times you shared. One day, you will be okay.
You might always miss them, but you won’t always mourn them. Life does go on, Dear One and you deserve to live, laugh and love again.